These are the questions you should have clarified by the third date at the latest.

Most important insights:

• After 3 dates, you should know what drives the other person and what they think about the future.
• It is important to understand your potential partner's views and values.
• Questions to ask after the third date are; Does he/she want to have children one day? What led to the breakup of the last relationship? How important is intimacy? Where do you see yourselves in a few years? Is he/she dating someone else?

Have you met someone and you’ve already been on two dates? Then you can assume that there is real interest on both sides. There used to be a fabled rule that the third date meant sex. This formula has become obsolete due to the popularity of dating apps and is no longer the measure of all things. It's much more important to know more about your crush's personality, values, or goals after the third date.

If you are in search of a serious partner, you always tend to have a certain eye on the future. Everyone has goals and dreams that he or she wants to achieve, and these are also key factors in a relationship. Disagreements about basic things? Why didn't you know this before and commit to the relationship in the first place? Unfortunately, having butterflies in your stomach is not enough when it comes to a future-oriented relationship. There are important things to consider, such as planning for children or whether your partner likes to party every weekend while you're more of a cozy movie night kind of person.

Unfortunately, many people make the mistake of listening too much to their heart and not enough to their head when choosing a partner. Do you really want to betray your own ideals or give up a lot to please the other person? After all, a healthy relationship is also about being able to grow and stand up for your values without jeopardizing the entire relationship.

That's why it's important that by the third date at the latest, you know what drives the other person and what they think about the future. But before we get into what you should know at this point, let's first address the question of why it's important to get certain information early.

Why should certain questions be answered immediately?

Is it really important to know certain things on the third date?

Absolutely, because it is already the third date. This means that you can no longer talk about a simple flirtation, because in that case there would never have been another date. And that's why you should know important things right now. Or do you want to have a discussion after a few months where the sentence "If only we had discussed this before" comes up?

It's important for both parties to know each other's views and values. And anyone who says they are not seriously interested after the third date is kidding themselves. Especially in today's world of online dating, where we can swipe from profile to profile, multiple dates are a sign of sincerity.

Surely you want to know how important financial security is to your crush, or if he or she is just putting in the hours. And what about fidelity and honesty - do they form the basis of a harmonious relationship, or is it time to start talking about an open relationship? Surely you don't want to take a leap into the unknown and would like to know what you are getting into. Maybe you also realize that a relationship is not enough, but a wonderful friendship can develop. Diametrically opposed views are no basis for a relationship, but that does not mean that you cannot get along in principle.

And what questions should be answered by the third date at the latest?

Okay, now we know why it is important to be aware of certain things during this time. But what are these things and how do they affect the rest of the relationship?

Does he or she want to have children?

A classic when it comes to getting to know a potential partner. If one person really wants to have kids and the other doesn't, there's plenty of room for conflict, and it can lead to a major rift in the relationship. Give up your desire to have children because your partner doesn't? At this point, it probably makes little sense to continue dating.

What led to the breakup of the last relationship?

Asking why the relationship ended is also important and can give you a lot of useful information. Was it because your date liked his or her freedom or perhaps the lack of respect on the part of the ex-partner? This will help you know what to avoid if you want to continue to get to know each other and pursue a relationship with this person.

How important is intimacy?

This question may seem unimportant to some, but sex life plays an important role in a functioning relationship. While intimacy once a week is enough for some people, others need it almost every day. If there is too much disagreement about this, it can be detrimental to the relationship in the long run. And while sex after the third date used to be the golden rule, it is now safe to ask if eroticism is important. You might even learn more about what your partner likes in the bedroom and kill two birds with one stone.

Where do you see yourself in a few years?

You've dated again and seem to be attracted to each other. So, it's a fair question to ask where this person sees himself or herself in five years. At the same time, you can find out what their priorities are. Does he or she want to live in a cozy house in a quiet neighborhood, or will he or she still be hitting the dance floor every weekend? You, on the other hand, probably have plans for the future and should see if your ideas are compatible.

Will there be more dates?

After the third date, you deserve to know if there will be other dates. Could your date be pursuing several options and keeping his or her options open until the bitter end? By now you should be at a point where you deserve an honest answer to this question.

In summary

Going on three dates is a big step in the right direction these days. That's why it's even more important at this point to know if the whole thing is on solid ground. Do your ideas for the future fit together, or would life be a series of compromises in which everyone would have to take a back seat? What about your sex life and can you find a common denominator here? The third date is already a great sign of mutual sympathy, and why not find out if it makes sense to continue?

Further readings

First date: The right way to go about it